It's The First Of The Month.......

“Wake up, wake up, wake up it's the first of the month
To get up, get up, get up so cash your checks and get up”

Anyone remember those song lyrics?  Come on, people, please tell me I’m not the only one!  Oh, and guess what today happens to be?  That’s right, the first of the month!  Or as my daddy would say…..the big eagle flew.

After spending some time running errands this afternoon, I suddenly remembered why I never go anywhere near certain places the first few days of the month.  So here comes a short little list of key places to avoid during this week of non-workers bliss. 

1)  The bank.  This one is obvious.  I hate the bank on any random day, but it is particularly loathsome the first of the month.  The bank employees already know me because I am the one who constantly crashes into their little yellow poles.  I would hate to also be known as the girl who purposely hit a pedestrian who was eager to get some cash in their hand.  My cash.  Get a job. 

2)  Any Asian nail spa.  Ok, this one makes me scratch my head.  Why do you need your nails done?  Seriously….you are drawing money from the government.  Money that myself and my family and friends work our asses off for.  But by all means, get you nails “did”.  Our treat.  Oh, and FYI, long acrylic claws painted blue and lime green, or any color for that matter, make you look like a moron.  A moron with no class.  A moron with no class who wears only pajama pants.  A moron with no class who wears only pajama pants and has six kids by five different men.  A moron with no class who wears only pajama pants and has six kids by five different men who lives in government housing….which I also pay for.  Get a job. 

3)  Any and all halfway decent restaurants.  Yes, you deserve to eat out too.  But you annoy me and I don’t like looking at you.  And since you have my money in your pocket, how about you just go ahead and pay for mine too…..you know, since it is MY money.  Oh, and make your kids stop screaming.  And laughing.  And running around.  Or whatever else they are doing that is obnoxious.  And for god’s sake, wipe their nose.  Because the only thing worse than a bad mannered child of a government mooch is a bad mannered child of a government mooch with snot all over its face.  And get a job. 

4)  Wal-Mart.  Of course Wal-Mart makes the list.  I see you there.  In your pajama pants.  Wearing a shirt that is three sizes smaller than it should be.  Making me wait in line behind you to pay for my five items....but go ahead, unload your three carts full of stuff while I wait patiently behind you.  I mean, I would hate for you to have to spend my money AND wait in line.  Get a job. 

I know people sometimes fall on hard times and need assistance.  I realize that.  But I also know a lot of people make a career out of drawing off the government.  My advice?

Get.  A.  Job.