Randomness....

I was thinking today that I haven't written anything on my blog in a while. What to write about is a difficult decision when your mind races all day long. So I'm going to jot down some of my crazy, random, ridiculous thoughts for today :)

1) Peanut Butter is going to be more expensive now? What the heck?! And right at the holidays? Not that I had planned on making candy...but IF I had, I would be seriously pissed. And I will be seriously pissed if this keeps my friends and family from making me my favorite holiday candy. And does this mean that Reeses cups are going to go up? Criminal! Peanut Butter IS a food group in my house.

2) A large coffee from Starbucks and 2 Diet Cokes before 9 a.m.? Not a good idea. And for the record, I'm still "high".

3) Spending a good portion of my morning beating down a rocket scientist just feels good. Of course, he is being a big pouty baby right now due to his refusal to accept the fact that I'm much smarter than him. But I'm okay with this. Ugly texts from said rocket scientist should commence any moment now. Bring it.

4) When I asked my dad a month ago to get me 2 pumpkins, he ended up buying 58. That's right, 58 pumpkins. Go big or go home, right? I fussed for a week about the 58 pumpkins. Then today I realized I never even picked up my 2. It's after Halloween and I never got my pumpkins. All that fussing at my dad? For nothing. Ugh...I hate the waste of a perfectly good argument, especially when it's my fault.

5) Making it my daily goal to gross out a germaphobe coworker is childish and I need to stop. It isn't nice to pour water and hand sanitizer on the door knob so that she sticks her hand in it and freaks out. I'm going to work on this....starting next Monday.

6) I'm relatively certain that considering paying the lady who cleans my house to clean out my fridge makes me all the things that other countries hate about Americans. And I disgust myself.

7) Why are all men everywhere obsessed with bacon? It both disgusts and intrigues me...

8) Why does really strong coffee make your pee smell just like the coffee you drank? One of life's great mysteries. Again....this both disgusts and intrigues me...

Let me leave you tonight with a little story...
Have you ever sweated so much you almost had your own lake named after you? I have.....its called hot yoga. It's amazing and I love it. But sitting on my mat today next to 3 of my friends, I had the realization that nothing makes 4 appearance conscious girls not give a rip quite like hot yoga. We may have looked kinda cute before class. But after class is a whole different story. Heck, 5 minutes into class and we were already a hot mess. Sweat hitting the mat like rain, hair dripping wet, clothes drenched, sliding in your own sweat, drinking water so fast that you think you are going to puke, laying on the mat on your back and praying to God you don't puke because you may aspirate and die. My friend, Jenn, is standing next to me practially wringing her shirt out and is threatening to take it off...my boobs are falling all out the top of my shirt like a slip & slide and my bra is showing for the whole world to see...then we happen to notice that our friend, Kristy, isn't even sweating. She looks like she just left the spa! This results in some serious name calling and me diagnosing her with a rare medical condition...but Jenn quickly comes to the conclusion that she doesn't sweat because she is in fact the devil and if you live in hell of course you would be immune to the heat. Ha!! Now, I love hot yoga....and I love my friends. But I'm not sure the two go hand in hand. I want to talk when they are around so my focus is non-existent. For example, demonstrating how my enormous boobs keep me from bending over and touching my nose to my knee and pointing out that I have a mouthful of my own breast when I try? That is called being all kinds of sidetracked and wouldn't happen if I were there alone. Focus? None. And I know I completely ruin their focus because I'm always the only one wanting to talk. And I'm that one friend everyone has that doesn't know how to whisper. Soooo, I'm sorry for being a distraction. But I would much rather sweat out all of my bodily fluids with my friends than all alone, focus or not. My friend, Tiffany, keeps it real. Every single time I open my mouth to say anything she says, "you're stupid". Yes, Tiffany, yes I am :)