Meet The Biggest Carnivore I Know....

Greetings from Pigeon Forge!  I'm not crazy about this place....never have been.  But I'm here on a girls weekend with my mom, my sister, and my nieces....so it's worth it. 

Everyone knows that I'm a smarty pants.  Well, my sister is my twin.  We don't even have to speak to one another.....we can just look at each other and know we are thinking exactly the same thing and then bust out laughing.  And yes, it is usually at some random strangers expense.  So needless to say, this trip has been extremely interesting.  Never a dull moment.  We keep each other entertained.  

Let me tell you something about my fitness-freak, personal trainer, marathon running, 100 pound sister.  She is a serious carnivore.  I swear, she's the biggest meat eater I know.  Animals should seriously run from her.  I'm surprised she doesn't just chase wild and/or domestic animals around with a knife and fork.  She told me today that I better hope I never get stranded anywhere in the wilderness with her because she would eat me.  I feel so......loved. 

Anyway, lunch today was her pick.  Of course it was barbecue.  And of course she ate a gigantic plate of ribs.  My mom ate ribs.....but my mom ate them like she had manners.  My sister, on the other hand, ate like a barbaric cavemen.  Sitting across the table from her was a huge mistake.  She got rib "juice" all over me.  I could hear her breaking the bones (no joke).  I got the pleasure of watching her suck the bones.  I'm positive she never once touched her silverware.  After she had competely cleaned her plate, she covered it with a napkin and said a little burial prayer over the pig she had just destroyed.  Soooo classy.  She then started eating off her kids plate.   By this time I had already pushed my plate away due to Lori-induced nausea. 

We leave the restaurant with her still saying she could eat more because she wasn't full.  And within 5 minutes, she is complaining that her stomach hurts.  And she is burping ribs in my face.  I spent the remainder of the afternoon listening to her whine about a stomachache.  So here is what happened next....

Complaining of a stomachache.....

Taking medicine with lemonade.....because nothing cures a stomachache quite like citrus fruit

Chasing medicine with pizza, of course

Chasing pizza with chocolate....like any sane person

She is currently laying in MY bed and telling me she thinks she may vomit on me tonight.....yet she fussed at me for eating cookies in the bed and getting crumbs everywhere earlier.  I'd rather have cookie crumbs than vomit....just saying. 

If you should ever see my sister coming, hide your pets!  You never know when she may be hungry. 

And wish me well....because she is going to kill me when she sees this post.....