CC went with me. Now, I have to note that CC is terrified of disease. He isn't what I would call a germaphobe. Not at all. But he is terrified of contracting a disease. A diseaseaphobe. So he had decided before we even arrived that he would not be touching any doorknobs. Even sitting in the waiting room chair was questionable for him. Once I got checked in, he had to pee. But people kept coming out from the exam rooms and using the bathroom in the waiting area. It should be noted that they were all carrying something in thick brown paper bags in and out of the bathroom and then returning to the exam rooms. Make your own assumptions. CC had no choice but to use said bathroom. But I think he may have boiled his skin in the sink. I'm still not sure he didn't throw his clothes away once we got home...
The doctor was wonderful. I loved him. He was so nice and thorough and truly the best experience I have had with a doctor through my whole ordeal thus far. He even checked my teeth...thorough. After about 20 minutes, when we were done with knee talk and he was done checking me out, he asks for me to tell him any and everything that I have wrong with me. He said he needs to know absolutely everything. So I tell him that I have asthma and allergies...things like that...you know, things all the cool kids have. CC...who never ever says a word because he is painfully shy...decides this is the moment he should speak up. And what he says leaves this chatty princess stunned into momentary silence. Brace yourself. He says, "Aren't you going to tell him about the bump on your girl parts". Go ahead, absorb that. Let it sink in. He actually said AREN'T YOU GOING TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE BUMP ON YOUR GIRL PARTS!!!! In an Infectious Disease Clinic. In all the years we have been together, I have never wanted to kill him. But at that moment I wished for a concrete block to throw at his head. The doctor looked at me wide-eyed like I was keeping some big secret from him that he needed to know. And once my stunned silence wore off, I said "what the hell". And CC says, "you know, the bump on your girl parts that you have been seeing a doctor for". More stunned silence...from me and the doctor. I looked at he doctor and told him that I most certainly didn't have any bumps on my girl parts and that I had no idea what my fiance was talking about. He didn't look convinced as I am sure he thought my fiance would know if I had some sort-of "outbreak". It wasn't until CC offered up "you know, the bump you have been getting x-rays of" that I realized he was talking about the CYSTS on my OVARIES. Not a BUMP on my GIRL PARTS. So I looked at the doctor and told him I do have ovarian cysts that are being followed by a doctor. Not herpes or syphilis or gonorrhea or some other dreadful INFECTIOUS disease. So, thanks CC. Thanks for the mortification. Thanks for a story that I'm sure the doctor will be telling his buddies for years to come. Thanks for choosing that very moment to speak.
I'm off to Southern Joint Replacement Institute first thing in the morning. I have already told CC that if he speaks, he's a dead man. :)
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